Lose it lose it lose it!

I remember how I felt when I first started my weight loss journey in April of 2013. I was determined, committed to the core, and ready to take on the world. I also lived in the home I owned, in a town I like in the Bay Area, that has sidewalks, safe running paths, and a supportive family. It helped me drop 40 lbs! 

Fast forward to August/September when we moved to Northern California (near the Oregon border) for a one year rotation, in a town with inconsistent sidewalks (if any at all), zero culture, and bad weather (snow!! And the rain coupled with zero sidewalks equals muddy and dirty walks). I was still experiencing BIG weight loss, and the weather hadn't turned yet, so I made due with the cards I was dealt, and kept pushing forward. I was at a 50 lbs loss at this point. 

After Thanksgiving and Christmas I had gained back almost TEN pounds! Then the weather was horrid, and I sort of lost sight of my determination, and started over eating and forgetting to track my calories. The weight still hasn't fully come off, and I'm super irritated with myself! 
Where did that hardcore attitude go? I honestly believe my weight loss was due to a lifestyle change, but the holidays made me lose that heart. 
AH! 

Well, today I tracked my calories (even though I KNEW I ate too much) and to my surprise I was only 80 calories over my max. I was so relieved, and then I thought, NO! That's nothing to feel content with. I have just been skating by, doing zero work to get back on track. So, I changed my weight loss goals (I technically am AT GOAL, but I enjoyed my weight a little bit lower) and now my calories are drastically lower. Eep. 

For some reason I'm not too worried. I know I will eat at the top end of my calories, and that's okay. I still breastfeed my toddler, so I need the calories. But I'm glad I'm at a more appropriate range so I will start seeing some weigh loss again. 

Where the heck am I going with this? I don't know, I just know I need to write this all down, because I know I've been avoiding it for months and there are no more excuses. 
Sparkpeople was my saving grace before, and I hope it will be again.
Let's do this! The past is the past, tomorrow is a new day!